Today I broke Jesus’ heart. But I didn’t mean to.
This isn’t a metaphor or exaggerated speech. I literally broke His heart.
Upon receiving Holy Communion I reached into my hand to pick up the host. I don’t know how it happened but as I went to pick it up I instead cracked it in half within my hand. It split down the middle into two pieces.
I picked up the pieces of Jesus’ broken heart as I (hopefully very quietly) exclaimed in surprise “oh bother!” (lucky for me I don’t curse because I am not sure what else I may have muttered in that moment of complete surprise!)
I made sure I didn’t leave any pieces of host in my hands and I walked back to my seat reflecting on what had just happened.
I knelt down in prayer. “Sorry for breaking your heart.” I prayed. And I meant it literally. But then I sat (well, knelt) with that thought and realized the deeper meaning there. Was He granting me a literal metaphor?
I pondered: “How have I broken Jesus’ heart with my sinning?” I may have physically broken the host today, but I break Jesus’ heart spiritually every time I sin. Ouch.
I felt bad for accidentally breaking the host in my hands. Do I feel just as bad when I sin and break His heart on purpose? I don’t want to break Jesus’ heart! I want to love His heart as much as He loves mine! …But, just like receiving Holy Communion today, I often fail in loving His heart fully.
I break Jesus’ heart when I don’t mean to. I break Jesus’ heart when I mean to. Sorry for breaking your heart, Jesus.
May God grant me the grace to recognize sin and avoid it so that I don’t keep breaking Jesus’ heart.
Give God Your Yes 