Similar to last Lent, one of my Lenten Goals is to write something each day. This post will track those snippets – be they verses, reflections, thoughts. If I have any “big” thoughts I may write a separate post.
For Lent and Life I have a lovely assortment of things I am doing and not doing — all trying to fix my orientation so that I am daily, constantly, consistently oriented toward God and where He wants me to be/what He wants me to be doing. I hope that your Lent lends itself to whatever reorienting, refocusing, reflection that you need to help draw you closer to God!
Weds, Feb 18 Day 1: “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.” I was able to attend 10am mass even though I am half-sick. I made it most of the way before having a coughing fit –at which point I moved into the Narthex. I made it to mass which was the ultimate goal for starting Lent. I hope I didn’t make anyone sick, but I needed to be there to start this Lent off fully-properly-peacefully.
Thurs, Feb 19 Day 2: I am doing “Crux” thru the Ascension app. (This doesn’t help me reduce time on my phone, but it does help focus is in a correct place and use my phone in a correct way.) The Bible reading for today was Mark 1:12-28. “And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him.” This is what I need to do — all my “unclean spirits” that have been taking over my life and pushing out the Lord, I need to listen to Jesus and allow his words to speak to me so deeply that my shortcomings come out of me. “Jesus rebuked him saying, ‘Be silent, and come out of him!’ “
“What is this? A new teaching!” >> We don’t get any of the things Jesus taught about in Mark’s gospel other than it was done “as one who had authority, and not as the scribes.” If you were there what would you have heard Jesus preach about that day? To then be followed up with him driving out unclean spirits! …While I would have loved to hear more about Jesus’ words I assume we can assume they are “Classic Jesus” – so Mark focuses on the miracle and how Jesus reveals the Truth in His words through action. Jesus isn’t here just to preach. Jesus is here to actually destroy the unclean spirits. He did it then and continues to do it now. :: Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner.
Fri, Feb 20 Day 3: During my time in Adoration today I found myself reading the readings I had planned to read. While reading them I felt like I should just stop reading and instead sit and listen and think. But I just kept chugging along in the readings because I have a personality that doesn’t allow me to stop in the middle of something once I start it — I have to get to the set end. Well it was quite fitting when later in the day while listening to WAOB’s Stations of the Cross they referenced a Bible verse that struck me :: “But first”. In Luke 9 (and Matthew 8) we hear of “The Would-Be Followers of Jesus” (–seriously this is what those verses are labeled in the Bible! As I looked up the verse for this reflection I got to see the title and received a lovely one-two message punch to the heart). I definitely live by the “But first” philosophy. It’s not good; I know that it’s a weakness, but I don’t think I can stop myself. But I do see this as a call to keep striving and doing better — and a reminder to lean on Jesus to help me follow him wherever he goes, rather than relying on myself to follow him wherever he goes whenever I am ready for him to go.
“I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” -Luke 9:61
“But first…”: Isn’t this so true about how we can be followers of Jesus? I love Jesus. I strive to follow him. But I often fail (whether in a big or small way) because there is something I first want to do. I just did it today in Adoration!! Oh gosh that seems bad — I was there to spend time with Jesus and even in that moment I couldn’t fully put him before myself. I am grateful for hearing those few minutes of the Stations (because I only caught a few minutes during a short car ride). I am grateful that God helped me put two-and-two together on these little moments and feelings.
Sat, Feb 21 Day 4: Gospel Luke 5:27-32 Jesus said, “…I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners.” :: We all start out as sinners. We all continue to be sinners. No matter how hard we try we often fail, sure some fail more than others and others don’t even try to do anything but sin. But we are all sinners. So since we are all sinners Jesus calls all of us to repentance. When we are doing our best we are repenting of our ways and turning back to the Lord as best as we can — and because we can do all things thru God who strengthens us let us lean on Jesus and do what he says: ‘Follow me‘.
Sun, Feb 22 Day 5: Gospel Matthew 4: 1-11 “[Jesus] fasted for forty days and forty nights, afterwards he was hungry.” I’m pretty sure I once heard a priest comment on this (was it Fr. Mike Schmitz?”) that “he was hungry” was quite a humorous understatement and that of course he’d be hungry! :: Being hungry is a very human feeling. I get hungry pretty quickly though — so even going like 12 hours I feel like “afterwards he was hungry” would apply to me. So if I had to go even like 3 days fasting I’d probably be like “Give me food. I will do whatever it is that gets me to food.” And it is precisely at this weakest/most vulnerable point (or at least it would be for me!) that “the tempter approached”. Jesus was strong and chose God every time in the face of every temptation. I am grateful that Jesus was Jesus and he did what he did — in this moment, thru the Passion, and into the Resurrection. Jesus’ ability to follow God fully allows us to follow God and get to heaven thru Jesus even thru/despite our own weaknesses. When I face even the slightest discomfort or temptation I am often willing to “sell myself out” for the easy path to pleasure — it isn’t right and in the depths of my being I don’t want to be so weak. May I use these 40 days of Lent hungry for Jesus.
Mon, Feb 23 Day 6: The first reading today was from Leviticus 19: 1-2, 11-18. It’s a list of things that you should not do. As I listened to the reading all I could think of was how so many people today (here in 2026) are doing exactly all of the things the Lord says not to do. Then interestingly the things He says to do are not done — “You shall fear your God” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” We are living in a world that lives the opposite of what God has called us to.
Tues, Feb 24 Day 7: Mark 2: 1-12 “The Healing of the Paralytic Man”: I’ve often reflected on various aspects of this Gospel story. But something new struck me today. It takes 4 men to carry this person and lower him down to Jesus. But Jesus addresses this man as “child”. He says: “Child, your sins are forgiven.” If I were in that crowd would I have found it odd that Jesus calls this man a child? We are all God’s children – no matter how old we are, no matter what we have done — if we come to Him he will meet us where we are and he will heal us body and soul.
I wrote a song (my lyrics; AI’s music) inspired by this reading:
Weds, Feb 25 Day 8: While I feel like I’ve been “doing good” this Lent with maintaining this year’s Lenten resolutions, I’ve caught old bad habits rearing their head. I am grateful for being able to recognize it so that I can stop myself and do better. When there are areas of my life that I need to cut out so that I can draw closer to God, I don’t just want to give them up for Lent, I strive to give them up forever. This has been a gentle reminder that I can’t just “do good” in pieces; I a need to be a “whole” that does good. Let me remember to strive for the good always in all ways.
Thurs, Feb 26 Day 9: Adoration. I’ve been going to Adoration on Thursday mornings. I’ve been writing reflections (in my journal). It is such a peaceful peace-filled time with the Lord! Many good moments of just being in His presence. I like some of the thoughts I’ve had during this time; they aren’t necessarily profound (though I like to think they are), but they are a reflection of the conversation God wishes to have with me and even if it’s simple and non-profound it is beautiful. It is calming to just sit and exist with the Lord.
Fri, Feb 27 Day 10: Psalm 130 “If you, O Lord, mark iniquities, who can stand?” I got to explain “iniquities” to Nora. I was like it’s “sin”, “wrongdoing”, a couple other similar words. I had to (just now) look up the definition. Upon Googling it at least it makes sense why I couldn’t define it – we just don’t use the term anymore outside of the Bible. But it’s a good word to know – there’s a depth to the word “iniquity” that I feel like “sin” doesn’t quite capture. AI’s definition: “In the Bible, iniquity (from Hebrew ‘avon) means moral crookedness, a twisted or perverse state that leads to sin, often implying a cnscious choice to deviate from God’s straight path, resulting in deep-seated guilt and distorted behavior, like deceit, violence, or adultery, carrying consequences beyond a single act, like the hardening of the heart. While related to sin (missing the mark), iniquity focuses on the warped character or motive behind the act and its persistent, damaging effects.”
Sat, Feb 28 Day 11: The Little Black Book Lent 2026 book (for 2.27 cuz I got a day behind). I feel like I should compile a list of all the things I feel like I learn for the first time each Lent. Several things so far in this year’s LBB sounded brand new to me and are utterly helpful for understanding Jesus’s identity. The “At the Gate” page described how shepherds would sleep across a pen’s opening so that the sheep didn’t get out –effectively being the gate to protect the sheep and it described how they would use their staff –to defend, guide, rescue. It provides a more concrete understanding of how Jesus is the gate for the sheep. Over the last 2000 years our way of life has changed; I imagine this was utterly apparent during Jesus’ time and needed no explanation – every probably “got it”. And while I have understood this to a degree this knowledge takes my understanding out of the purely metaphorical and concretizes it into something more literal. :: We have to go thru Jesus to get to the Father. The gate is narrow, but if we stay a sheep safe in Jesus’ flock the way into heaven is simply following Jesus thru the gate.
Sun, Mar 1 Day 12: (Writing this on 3/3 cuz I got behind) “Lord, it is good that we are here”. (Matthew 17: 1-9). This is a good quote to remember in many situations. When I remember it, it lifts my mind to God and I can appreciate the moment more. …Literally while typing this up Mabel called “Mommy, come up!” on loop until I paused my writing and finally went up to her room to give her another cuddle good night. I was in the midst of trying to start “me time” and get my writing in, but I put it on pause and went and snuggled her for 10 minutes. Mabel had taken my hand to prevent me from leaving and held it to her chest and exclaimed “Caught you! You no can leave.” and, since it was fresh on my mind, I remembered to think “Lord, it is good that we are here.” -and it truly was. The value of those few minutes together far outweigh anything I can write here –and I need to remember that because I always want my “me time” and get frustrated when I don’t have it or it gets interrupted, but God reminded me that all time is truly His and I need to go where I am called to go and not just go where I want to go.
Mon, Mar 2 Day 13: I’ve been chugging along and thinking I was doing good and keeping on top of all my Lenten goals. But it turns out today is Day 13 and I thought it was Day 12… so I was behind and missed a day without realizing I missed a day. The good thing is I’ve caught up. The bad thing is in my head I’ve been like “I’m rocking this Lent” but somehow I forgot to do some number of my daily things. Can I blame Sunday? Let’s blame Sunday. Just took a little day of rest there but now I’m back on track. …The Lesson: Your own self-assessment may not be the most accurate marker of your progress – spiritual or otherwise. Which reminds me: I need to schedule a session with my Spiritual Director!
Tues, Mar 3 Day 14: Mark 5: 1-20. Crux Day 11 Discussed this Gospel story from Mark – the healing of the Gerasene demoniac. Something in it struck me and I thought “I need to go back when I have more time and delve into that.” And then I proceeded to never have (or find) the time. I no longer am sure what it was I thought about thinking. But I am spending time with it now and here’s my takeaway: The Gerasene was so possessed that “no one could bind him anymore, even with a chain; for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but the chains he wrenched apart, and the shackles he broke in pieces”. When we think of breaking the chains that bind us we think of being freed – but here was the Gerasene who broke every physical chain that bound him, and yet he was completely a slave to the demons. :: We might think we are free because we do not have physical chains that bind us, but as the Gerasene demoniac shows us, it’s the spiritual chains that bind. The spiritual chains must be broken to be truly free. Jesus helps us break those chains. We must call to Jesus for help and healing. And then we are called to go out and share Jesus’ love, message, mercy with others so that they are guided to breaking their spiritual chains, too. “Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” –and the Gerasene man did exactly as Jesus told him to do and “all men marveled”.
Weds, Mar 4 Day 15: St. Katherine Drexel was rich and gave it all away for love of others. St. Francis of Assisi was rich and chose instead a life of poverty. Other wealthy people gave up their wealth in the name of following God. I guess I am grateful to not be rich to not even have to face that choice. How much of a head start I must have on my journey to God since I don’t have to first forgo wealth! …I jest, and yet there’s something to having these saintly examples. If you’re doing life right you follow God. Our society today says you need money to have power, that money will get you everything you want. But God is all powerful and you can have him without having money, and by “getting” God you will have everything you need.
Thurs, Mar 5 Day 16: When you are inside a fog cloud everything that is close to you is much more visible than that which is far away. It can even look like the fog is “over there” and not where you are. And then when you get “over there” it doesn’t look foggy and you can turn around and where you just were looks very foggy. Sometimes you can’t see the fog or the noise or notice what all is around you, surrounding you, because you are too close to it. But get some distance and you can see exactly how foggy your life has become/is. Lent is a good time to start distancing yourself from the fog and as you head “over there” towards Jesus you gain more and more clarity as to just how much of a fog you were in. But unlike when you’re in a fog cloud, you can do something to change your spiritual fog – you can clear the air around you, you can lift the cloud, you can bring out the sun, and it all starts with taking steps towards Jesus.
Fri, Mar 6 Day 17: In Adoration yesterday the people I know that have been lost to suicide were on my mind (as well as those I have known who have attempted it). May the souls of Erin, Tom, Nate, Darrien, and Brandon rest in peace. I had this on my mind as I wrote this week’s God-song:
Sat, Mar 7 Day 18: Today was a day of “getting it done” rather than “doing it right”. Did I do my Lenten things? Yes. But did I focus on them and really “do” them? No. With the exception of fasting -which I ended up doing extra long on accident, as a result of endeavoring to do other endeavors. Severe thunderstorms were forecast for the afternoon so I made it a point to get outside on what ended up being a record-setting day temp-wise at 77 degrees (!). We went to a park, swung by the church’s rummage sale, went to another park, stopped and watched two cows chilling, and then it was finally Noon. (Ruthie got up extra early today so we were able to accomplish a lot! “I got up at 6:29!” she kept telling everyone.) Anyways… While at Park #2 I remembered I hadn’t gotten in my daily readings/listenings so I let the USCCB Podcast read me the daily readings, then I put on my Ascension app and listened to the daily reflection and played the daily Crux as I played at the park. I checked my prayer boxes like they were things to check off on a list. I know that some days this is just the way it will be, but I know I can do better and I should strive for better –especially during Lent!! But also, I know I was focused on the most important thing – my kids. It is tough to balance the two “demands” of daily life – God and family – and some days are more in balance than others, but even though I was objectively out of balance I felt that I was somehow doing it the way it was supposed to be done today.
Sun, Mar 8 Day 19: I failed today. I did not go to mass. My heart is a bit crushed that I missed a Sunday and a Sunday in Lent no less. Nora had a swim meet all day Fri-Sat-Sun this weekend that we couldn’t make any mass. We made plans to attend online after she got home. But I totally could have taken Ruth and Mabel to church with me – I even half-heartedly tried to feel them breakfast and get them dressed in a timely manner so we could attend 9am mass. But I failed at that, and then instead of rousing myself for a 10am mass attempt I just quit. Like 3 hours later (after pretty much all mass options ended) Ruthie asked me “Aren’t we going to church?” “A little late there, Ruthie. We were supposed to go hours ago when I was yelling at you both to get ready!” And that was the last I thought about it until Nora came home, exhausted, and she turned on Fr. Mike Schmitz’ mass. I joined her after putting the kids to bed and caught the final minutes of mass. Nora amazes me with her commitment to things, but especially in her commitment to her faith. She inspires me to do better. So here I sit on Wednesday morning, long after I was supposed to celebrate the Sunday liturgy, and am finally getting around to fulfilling my Sunday obligation with Fr. Mike Schmitz’s 3rd Sunday of Lent mass (though in all honesty I’m still failing since I’ve put it on 1.75x speed and can’t seem to stop multi-tasking). I must do better!!
Mon, Mar 9 Day 20: “I hope in the LORD, I trust in his word; with him there is kindness and plenteous redemption.” – Psalm 130: 5,7
Tues, Mar 10 Day 21: We did Family Faith Fellowship last night at church, or as Ruthie calls it: “The basement where I play with Play-Doh.” It’s always nice to gather with other families and talk about God. Next time we meet I will be leading the session on “Signs and Symbols in Our Parish’s Churches”. I have a lot of thinking and prepping to do in the weeks ahead! But I am very very (probably too) excited for it!
Weds, Mar 11 Day 22: My local library has a Moth-style storytelling event coming up with the theme “Renewal”. I think I’ll attend and talk about how Lent tends to change my life when I commit to it. I thought of an opening statement and made myself laugh. “Every late Winter into early Spring I like to torture myself a little bit. It’s not that I’m a masochist. It’s that I’m Catholic.” I feel like that’s a fairly strong opening 🙂 Excited to take time to flesh that all out into a story about God working in my life each Lent!
Thurs, Mar 12 Day 23: I did not give up aimless shopping this Lent, but I think I should probably add it in. I hesitate to write that since it brings me one step closer to actually doing it. But the problem is I like going to thrift shops and finding “treasures”. It must be an actual problem because now when we head to Goodwill Mabel asks me if we’re going to find treasures! It was so cute to hear her say “find treasures?” but then it cut to the heart a bit cuz “yikes, what am I teaching her?”. So I need to sit with this one again and see what I discern. I am sooo tempted to just ignore it and carry on without changing my ways. Hmmm I’m pretty sure my hatred of the thought of change is a sign I need to challenge myself and change. Fortunately we’re basically half way thru Lent so I imagine I could add this in seeing that I’ve had a “bye week” on it til now. Lord Jesus help me. No, truly, I need this help if I’m gonna succeed. …OK, so now having written all of this up I guess I have to officially add it to my Lenten List… Let me turn to the Lord for strength! It seems like such a silly thing and should be easy-breezy-peasy. When tempted Lord please remind me that true treasure lies in you and not the passing things of this world. Amen.
Fri, Mar 13 Day 24: I bought a handmade mug off of Etsy a few years ago. I call it my “Fridays in Lent” mug since I only drink out of it on Fridays in Lent. It has a carved Sacred Heart of Jesus on one side and the Immaculate Heart of Mary on the other. It is a precious mug and makes these Fridays so joy-filled!
Sat, Mar 14 Day 25: The Crux Day 24… This note is for me. There was so much in this day’s reflection by Fr. Columba Jordan that I needed to note which day so I don’t later have to search for it. Especially people wanting to be a contemplative but God has called them to do something else with their life as well as the message: “They say that if the devil can’t get us with evil -with sin and temptation, he’ll get us with good things. He’ll distract us. Do this thing and that thing. They are all good holy things, but they aren’t God’s plan for us so all our energies are scattered. Instead of going an inch wide and a mile deep -in terms of following God’s will and being fruitful for Him, we are an inch deep and a mile wide -everything, all our energies are scattered all over the planet. Instead if we just say ‘What is your will for me?’ Even if it’s not what I want, I’m in.”
Sun, Mar 15 Day 26: Having zero inspiration for a song idea and my weekly deadline I was determined to figure out something. I searched thru recent readings until I finally figured out something that inspired something useful enough to turn into something. But I had two more lines to write and knew I hadn’t yet found the best combination, so I went to bed. As I drifted off to sleep I figured it out.
Mon, Mar 16 Day 27: I woke up and finished my latest God-song: “the smallest crumb”. Based on Matthew 15: 21-28 The Canaanite Woman’s Faith.
Tues, Mar 17 Day 28: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I think this is the first year I didn’t do anything special for the day. So thank goodness Nora got out her fiddle (aka violin for 364 other days of the year) and played all the Irish songs she knows for us. Ruthie showed off her “Irish” jig. Mabel copied Ruthie. And I washed the dishes to the sweetest sights and sounds. She saved St. Paddy’s Day! 🙂 (PS. I am grateful to take a few moments in reflection upon this moment, because it was super sweet and special even though I only half focused on it since the other half of me was washing dishes. Sometimes I wish I could pause life better and just stop the task and focus on the gift.)
Weds, Mar 18 Day 29: I’m patting myself on the back for a moment. It is hard to sacrifice “me time” and I did it today. I made myself do the better, more important thing rather than the thing I really wanted to do. In the end it was a nice 45 minutes of sacrifice so I know there was greater fruit in it than in just having spent those 45 minutes on myself. …I’ll aim to keep that in mind when I wonder later where the day has gone and how I haven’t yet completed the thing I meant to have done by now… I trust that God will provide the time (and energy!) for me to do it later!
Thurs, Mar 19 Day 30: The other day when I was focused on and sitting with Matthew 15 I paused and realized that there are a decent number of stories where parents plead for Jesus to help their child and Jesus does. Jesus raises a widow’s son from the dead, he raises the girl from the dead, he heals sick children, he casts demons out of children — all because a parent has had faith in Jesus and brings their request to him. In our society this is a ‘no brainer’ – of course we’ll bring our sick child to Jesus seeking his help. But I think there’s also a level here of God our Father longing for us to also come to His Son for the things we need – to ultimately lead us through Jesus to our Father. We are all children in need – whether or not we realize it and no matter what age we are. God our Father wants what is best for us – yet He gives us the free will to accept His love or reject it. Blessed are we, the children of God, who have a loving Father who is there for us even if we are no better than helpless children.
Fri, Mar 20 Day 31: Responsorial Psalm: Ps 34:
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
Many are the troubles of the just man,
but out of them all the LORD delivers him.“
Sat, Mar 21 Day 32: [This is a “catch-up” post] On Sun 3/22 I started quoting Psalm 23 to Nora. She asked me what it was and I said that it was Psalm 23 but was just a part of it; that there was a lot more to it. It popped into my head because the valley we had just driven thru always loses internet/bluetooth connection and she couldn’t get my phone to work. “Even though I shall walk thru the valley of death, I shall fear no evil for you are at my side.” I parked at the store and just as I was turning off the car the thing she was trying to play finally worked. I learned she was trying to load the Rosary; and here I thought she was just going to play a song! …Jump to Monday 3/23 morning and I am listening to the daily readings. What’s the day’s Psalm? 23! Nora goes to mass at school – I smiled as I realized she would hear it and I could picture her having that lightbulb go off that it was the same one we had just been discussing! …I never did get around to asking her if she noticed. But in taking the time to write this I am realizing that while I got to enjoy the Nora+Me+Psalm 23 moment, it’s Nora who was meant to then have a Nora+Psalm 23 moment for some reason [that only God and Nora get to know] –I just had to do the small step to help the next step happen. There’s always beauty in how God’s work is done in increments and in seemingly random ways, but as long as we do our part and say “yes” when He asks us to give a “yes” (even if it’s just a response to a prompting of the Holy Spirit that we may not even realize we are doing!) then we are doing the small part God is asking us to give Him so that He can do more.
Sun, Mar 22 Day 33: John 11 Lazarus. Beautiful reflection by Fr. Columba Jordan. My own thoughts: (1) Martha and Mary speak to Jesus on behalf of their brother Lazarus. Like the parents of those in the other miracles (see my 3/19 entry) they come to Jesus seeking Jesus’ help. This reveals the power of intercessory prayer – and beyond your ‘basic’ intercessory prayer because it isn’t just seeking Jesus’ intercession in life but even after death. (2) This story is all about Lazarus. It contains beautiful dialogue between Martha and Jesus and Mary and Jesus and Jesus towards Lazarus. But interestingly Lazarus never speaks. Lazarus was the recipient of the miracle, of the outpouring of Jesus’ and God’s love, and yet he himself, now raised from the dead, is speechless in the Gospel. We get so close — Jesus says: “Unbind him, and let him go,” And then the story ends. He was physically bound with bandages and had to be freed from them, but he was also physically and spiritually bound by death and Jesus freed him from that and brought him to life again. I’m so curious what Lazarus said once he was unbound!! (3) Jesus knows us and he calls us by name. He does not forget us. He does not forsake us. Death cannot separate us from his love. (4) Mary was at Jesus’ feet in praise and worship at the beginning of this Gospel passage and then again at his feet in a prayer of longing -a mirror for us of how we are to come to Jesus.
This week’s song turned out to be a poem:
Step into the Light
In the dark, awaiting light
Bound up in death’s cold slumber
Where time is neither day nor night
Where days are since past numbered
Those found on the other side
Experience the pain
But in the tomb the body lies
And there it shall remain
Strange place of in between
The things called life and death
A place hidden beyond the seen
Where body knows no breath
Through the dark, a voice calls
It beckons out by name
A stone rolls back, death falls
The light shines once again
Extinguished flame of life relit
The puff of breath returned
Body bound up with spirit
As from the clay reformed
..hmm… I converted it into a song anyways:
Monday, Mar 23 Day 34: Not only have I had more physical energy lately, but I also have gotten into a few fun projects that have energized me. I trust that God is giving me experiences and having me grow in certain ways and do certain things all for whatever the next step is that I am going to take (or be asked to take). I have no idea where I am headed but I feel good and like I am on a good path. It is a weird thing for me to be confident in what the future may look like even though I have absolutely no idea what that future will be! This is a beautiful season I am in where I feel like it will bear some sort of important fruit someday. So I continue along this path of “yes” one step at a time towards wherever my next “yes” will be found. …I’m glad I finally remembered to make a note of this so that perhaps someday I can look back and know when this transition started. It’s like a contented eagerness – that I am being filled up in various ways so that some day I can be poured out in whatever mysterious ways God asks of me.
Tuesday, Mar 24 Day 35: I did not get to go to Adoration last week (cuz of life) and I really felt sad for having to miss that hour. While hard to miss it, it was a good chance to feel the longing within myself for that little bit of time I spend. I am looking forward to going this week — though on Thursday my usual day I again have life scheduled to interfere so I will have to be creative in order to get there. But I have the desire so I shall find the way!
Weds, Mar 25 Day 36: I made it to Adoration! I made it just 40 minutes, but that is much better than 0! I have had a lot of good thoughts during my times in Adoration [which I am keeping in a prayer journal and not on my GGYY blog] but today was a “simple” day. I didn’t write a whole lot like other times, but I did feel that contented eagerness — like I wanted to run and jump and “do” but was called to just sit and “be”. I appreciated the strangeness in that feeling because usually when I get to go to Adoration I am very happy to sit still in silence for awhile.
Thurs, Mar 26 Day 37: It was finally storytelling night at the Library! (see 3/11 entry). It was nice to speak the words and not just write them –even though I definitely prefer the quietness and exactness of words on a page vs the jumbling of words I tend to do when I speak. I gave my “yes” in speaking and sharing and trust that God will do with it what He will. See my post “A New Renewal Anew” for what I said (or, well, close enough to what I ended up saying!). I was even so bold as to share my blog name — so if you lovely library ladies are reading this post: Thank you for the encouragement, kind words, and enjoy all these very many words I tend to write about God + Me. 🙂
Fri, Mar 27 Day 38: “Pray that it may not happen in winter.” (or “Pray that this does not happen in winter.) – Mark 13:18. Reading the Crux reading and this line pops out to me amidst the many other terrible lines – I mean, beautiful lines describing terrible things. I know that the Holy Spirit will help me speak at trial. I know that the stars will fall from the sky. I know that brother will deliver up brother to death. I know that I will be hated for the sake of Jesus. I know that there will be false prophets. I remember Jesus’ directive to “Watch. Pray.” I know that there will be just generally terrible things that will test my ability to persevere to the end and remain faithful to God. But I don’t know that I remember Mk 13:18. I feel like remembering Mark 13:18 is kind of important – Jesus specifies what to pray about! So today I said a prayer that all these terrible things that are to happen do not happen in winter as I sat visualizing all these terrible events that are to be. If you add winter’s cold on top of the fact you are not to turn back and get a coat before fleeing it will surely be a testing time. Who has the strength to withstand the persecutions and stay faithful to the end??? For man it is not possible, but for God it is possible.
I know that I am a weak person who does not have such strength. I desire the strength. My ego would have me think I could withstand it all. But I need to crush that ego and know that when those times come I will need God more than anything — and the one true God, not false ones that promise an eternal life that they cannot give. As I flee from earthly pain and physical and emotional suffering I must run ever closer into God’s arms. He is love. He is goodness. He says these things must be and so I run and trust that I can persevere to the end.
Sat, Mar 28 Day 39: My week’s song seems like it will be another poem, but the words aren’t working quite right so it seems more of an item for a trash heap. But since I need to write something I guess I’ll share it. On the plus side God made the words and rhymes happen – I just sat in the car and wrote the lines that came as I waited for Nora to finish having fun at her Middle School play’s cast party. Based on Mark 13:
Take heed
watch and pray
For you know not the day
Watch
At morning, midday, night
Watch
Do not be led astray
Though the nations arise and fight,
The earth shake, and famine strain
Take heed, watch
Endure the plight
Withstand the labor pains
Preach the gospel
To earth’s end
Of place and time
Persevere until the end
Of place and time
Watch, awake
Awake keep watch
Let not the master find
A sleeping servant
At the gate
Be alert
It’s almost time
The Son of Man is in the clouds
With glory, power, might
Be not deceived by others
Saying “I am he”
Let the Holy Spirit
Fill up your mouth
When to death you’re led
By others filled with hate
Take heed, watch
Of the elect remain
Angels will gather
Where Words will not pass away
Sun, Mar 29 Day 40: I love making crosses out of the Palm Sunday palms. I listened to the readings and made my two crosses as Nora made hers beside me. After I had made the two I had the thought “Wait, I should film this so other people know how to do it!” But since I had used my palms I didn’t have any more to then do this with. I thought “Well, if I find one left behind or dropped in the parking lot I can do it.” I left mass extra-palmless. I got home and a few hours later went on a run. I usually pass the church in my loop but today I stopped one street early to cut back home (as I am just getting back from injury and can’t go far). I make it 1.0 miles and stop to stretch. I see a friend coming from my right who is also on a run and we fist-bump as he passes. I turn and stretch and look down and low-and-behold just two feet to my left is a palm branch! Well, looks like I have-to-get-to make that video now! 🙂 Thanks God!
Mon, Mar 30 Day 41: Simon of Cyrene is pressed into service and made to carry Jesus’ cross. I always think of having to carry my own cross – as Jesus says we are to do. But here is a beautiful example of helping to carry someone else’s cross. Even if we don’t want to we should do it – we are called to do it. Just like Simon of Cyrene, may we see the crosses that others around us are carrying and do what we can (even more than we think we can!) to help them! It’s not just intercessory prayer; it’s intercessory action!
Tues, Mar 31 Day 42: The Little Black Book entry was about St. Hildegard of Bingen. She was incredible yet it took 800 years for the Church to recognize her as a saint and Doctor of the Church! I have the feeling that she doesn’t mind though. She did what God called her to do and lived as God called her to live precisely out of her love for God, not out of any love for herself or ‘making a name for herself’. That’s an ideal to strive for! May we all be the holiest people we can be, live our lives and do amazing things for Jesus, and offer it all back to God the source of all we have, all we do, all we are. It’s a tall order and seems quite impossible if left to our own devices, egos, and vanity. Luckily we have God on our side and with + through Him all things are possible!
Weds, Apr 1 Day 43: Holy Saturday. It’s part of the Triduum. There’s only 3 days in the shortest season of the Liturgical year. And yet this poor day I feel is overlooked… It’s a day of waiting in between the height (and depth) of Jesus’ life (Good Friday) and the height of the Resurrection (Easter Sunday). It just gets called “Holy Saturday” which doesn’t feel particularly inspirationally named. But I guess it is fitting — because are our lives just like one long “Holy Saturday”? Where we “wait” for our day to enter into eternal life? Now there’s a lot of important stuff we squeeze into that “day” but it should all be lived in an anticipatory way and in a way where we strive to get to that Resurrection. [I think I had a better thought initially but as I wrote this a potty-training Mabel had a major accident and is otherwise distracting me so I am trying to make a coherent thought from disjointed ones.] [Many hours later….] ..I know that the Easter Vigil comes on Holy Saturday night – that is the day’s ‘highlight’, but I guess I always just think of the Vigil as ‘early Easter’ though I also know that isn’t correct since the mood at the Easter Vigil is somber and the service extra extra long. Hmmm. I guess I have figured out what’s special about Holy Saturday. It truly is one of the most important days of the year! …maybe someday after the kids are bigger I’ll be able to attend an Easter Vigil again and enjoy its length, breadth, depth.
Thurs, Apr 2 Day 44 Holy Thursday: Non-Adoration because it’s in repose until after mass tonight and then again until Easter. But I sat in the empty church with the Tabernacle and Sanctuary candle. Everything else was draped in purple cloth. I contemplated the Sanctuary candle. (Thank you Sanctuary candle!) The flame can be solid, steady and it can wiggle, but it never leaves its base, its center, that is, the wick. A foundation in God provides constancy, a source of stability, a home. At times in life we are properly rooted in God and adhere to the wick in a steady manner. At times in life we may falter and forget and stray – but never too far away and always able to return to the Lord. This is the ideal and should be the truth for all – a flame cannot exist without the wick that gives it life.
Give God Your Yes 