Considerations for My Obituary

I bother my loved ones a lot with notes about what I want in my obituary. I figured I’d write things up for them so they don’t forget — and since I won’t be around to make sure they get it right I figured the pre-guidance could only help!

It’s a bit morbid perhaps to consider one’s own obituary. But I think it helps keep your mind focused on what really matters and the right way to live. I don’t want to just be a list of facts – I aspire to live a life that bears fruit which cannot be captured simply by jotting down a few items.

Each of us is from dust and to dust we shall return. Suffering and death is a part of life. And while we all hope to not have to suffer much and to live long there will come a point where we reach the end of this earthly life and pass into the eternal life. Live a life with your heart and mind focused on God. Turn to Him and He will embrace you. He will hold you in the palm of His hands now and forever.


Guidelines & Contents

  1. Proper and Full Genealogy. This request is for that future genealogist who is just like me — piecing together a family tree one fact snippet at a time. Don’t worry I’ve done the work for you. You’re welcome. 
  2. Print it in the Sunday Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. (Sorry, it will be costly b/c it’s long. And it also assumes newsprint still exists…)
  3. She loved her family, friends, and faith and tried to live a life as a “good and faithful servant” for God.  She loved many things and she did many things but what matters the most is that she loved God.
  4. I encourage you to focus your heart and mind on God and live for Him. God doesn’t promise that we will not suffer in this life, but He does promise His love and eternal life with Him. Live a life in a way that when you get to the end of it God tells you “Well done my good and faithful servant”.
  5. 2 Timothy 4:7 ” I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.”
  6. Encouragement and Guidance: 2 Timothy 4:2 “proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching.”
  7. Fr. Mike Schmitz “The ‘who you become’ is far more important than the ‘what you do’ in your story.” “Even if in this moment I don’t know the meaning I realize there is meaning in every moment.” “[Suffering] is helping me become the person that this world needs me to become.” “I can choose to act even when the situation seems hopeless.” “Just because things are difficult; even though I can’t do everything it doesn’t mean I can’t do anything.” “All she got from God was heaven and love; she didn’t get healing but she got God’s love.” “Make your life worthy of going to heaven.”
  8. Retreat Talk: God is outside of space and time. We don’t get to know all the fruits of our life.


If you desire to know what I did/who I was: I was a wife to Ryan, a mother to Nora, a sibling to BG, CF, CWIII, RX, DT, EM, DM, AR, and a daughter to Charles and Ruth. I fed my mind – I attended Sewickley Academy and Franklin & Marshall College. I fed my body – I played soccer in high school and in college and Gaelic Football for Pittsburgh and loved being outside in nature observing God’s creation. I fed my family – I worked at the Post-Gazette in digital advertising. I fed my soul – I liked attending mass in community, praying in solitude, and contemplating God’s plan for my life. I fed my creativity – I liked to write poetry, kid’s stories, and songs. I liked to journal. I liked to pray. I liked to make puns and portmanteaus. And I sure hope that thru God’s grace I fed the world with the fruits of my life

To those whom I loved: I love you. Keep living your life the best you can. Turn to God in all the ups and downs and you will be able to survive anything. Pray for me. I’ll be praying for you.

And if I can be a patron saint of something that I choose: I’d like to be the patron saint of Decision-Making and Discernment. My indecisiveness was pervasive and desire to discern was strong – though actual discernment and decisions always felt hard! But take it to prayer and trust that God will guide you —even if you don’t ever feel like you know what His answer is He is there and listening and guiding! Just do your best to take the next best step that you think God is asking you to take and you will be following His plan for your life.


4/1/19: This was round 1 of getting some of my thoughts down. Looking forward to living until I can tidy this up! My Goal: Life isn’t a list of things you did. Life is meant to generate fruit for God even if during your own life you don’t ever get to know what those fruits are! (They are definitely yummy and delicious and much needed in the world! Live a life that produces much fruit!)



some day we’ll each be

a third person, past tense

list of fact-filled sentences.

then by time made unknown

but for a name and date

etched in stone.