In building me up God often challenges me – He gives me little moments and insights which make me ponder: “Am I willing to do that for God?” or “Would I do that if God asked?” or “What could I do in that situation?” Some challenges are intense, others just thought provoking – but each helps bring me deeper into my love for God.
1. If I walked up to communion and there was actually blood in the cup – what would my reaction be? My initial response: I would jump back in horror. But what my response should be: Fall down on my knees in prayer. I believe that it God’s body and blood that I consume so why would real blood and not sweet wine cause me to act any differently? I should still drink of the cup – but of course with the miracle and all I must fall to my knees in awe and thanksgiving and wonder.
2. Am I willing to fall on my knees in prayer in front of others? My initial response: If I were in a church I think I would still be hesitant and struggle with falling on my knees if God inspired me to. It’s that whole self-consciousness thing. But why? Aren’t I in God’s house with others who love God? These are the people who would most understand and not judge. Also, who cares about people? I mean that in the way that my love for God should surpass all things — so out of love for God God should always be who I do things for. On my knees I would fall. God has made me ready to fall on my knees for Him whenever He asks.
3. How can I help in a helpless situation? If I cannot take a direct action God still gives me a way to help: Prayer. Now that I know I am willing to fall on my knees for Him I am ready to do that if asked. I was thinking about seeing someone on the top of a building and ready to jump – I couldn’t do anything in time except for to fall on my knees and pray. God will then do with it what needs to be done.
4. If God revealed Himself to me in the clearest of ways – would I be brave enough to say “Yes” and completely give my life to God? This is so hard for me! I love God. I want to know God. But if God asked me to do something for Him and I really had to change my life – would I do it? Sometimes I like the haze of faith and not knowing God’s call explicitly because I can find an excuse to hide and choose whatever path I want. How shameful! But it is my reality. In my idealness I would of course always give God my yes – whatever path He wanted me on I would abandon my own path and take His. Am I willing to abandon myself to God? God I hope so! But so far on my journey I somehow often just pick myself…
5. Instead of waiting for God to ask me to do something – waiting for someone to present an opportunity for me to then choose A or B why am I not proactive? Why is it that if presented with a choice I would then say “A” or “B” and follow, but if I am willing to do “B” then why am I not just willing to take the leap and do “B” before being asked? God wants my action! He wants me to follow but He also wants me to lead for Him. Why hide behind the status quo and wait for a choice – why not go and do?
6. Is my excuse “God, I don’t know if I am strong enough to do that for you.”? ‘To follow me you don’t have to be strong; you have to be weak.’ Am I weak enough to follow God? Do I recognize my failings and imperfectness and just trust God? He doesn’t need me to be strong; He is strong. He doesn’t need me to be the leader; He is the leader – but He does want me to follow and lead others to Him. I think of St. Therese of Lisieux – the little flower saw how great her smallness was and how that was the right path to following God. I love knowing I don’t need to be strong; I just need recognize that I am weak and in that weakness I turn to God’s strength.
So that is a lot of random ramblings sort of… But these are a number of challenges God gives me to think about Him, reflect on my life and choices, and work my way closer to Him.