We had a late night last night and I hoped my kids would sleep in. I woke early and got some quiet “me time”. I did the dishes. I took out the trash. …Then I remembered I had gotten up to enjoy the quiet and do something for myself.
I warmed up leftover coffee, grabbed my Word Among Us, and sat down on my couch and read the daily readings.
I sat in quiet reflection. (John 14:1-6 Jesus says some stuff then Thomas asks a question. I wondered if I would have just been like “Okay, Jesus. Sounds good.” or if I would have been wise enough to ask for some clarification as Thomas did. | Psalm 2 “with trembling rejoice” – we should fear and revere God for his great power, love, and mercy.) Anyways… that’s beyond my point. My point is I then sat and thought things and in that thinking I was graced a moment of pure love.
Because my “deep thoughts” were interrupted by a glance around the room.
I have to essentially force myself to sit and be still with the Word these days. Because I otherwise am constantly moving around trying to clean things, redd things up, make some sort of progress in the never ending cycle of “This place is a mess”.
For once I didn’t see the mess.
I saw the blessings.
I saw the beautiful artwork my oldest kid has made adorning the walls.
I saw the few pieces of art my two year old has made and has been so proud to have placed on the wall, too.
I saw the toys which means I am blessed to even have kids to love and I was grateful that they live a life of such joy, comfort, and abundance.
I saw the baby things which means I have a third little blessing in my life. The second beautiful answer to a much prayed for blessing (of having more kids after Nora).
I saw the slide (not pictured; just to the left of the image) that I have in the living room and thought about how special it is that we can provide our kids with such simple treasures as being able to have a slide inside the house. (I mean, c’mon, my kids don’t know how good they have it. They are growing up thinking that having a slide inside your house is normal!)
I thought all these things and fell to my knees in gratitude and praise. I cried tears of such happiness (I’m crying again now remembering that joy and peace).
God is so loving. God blesses us beyond our ability to know or understand. The fact that God does this is overwhelming. “God is great!” doesn’t quite capture just how Great He is.
With trembling I rejoice.
It is not a mess that surrounds me. It is a beautiful way that God shows me that He loves me. That He hears me. That He is here for me.
The saying may be “Bless this mess”, but I know that the messed is already blessed. So “This mess is blessed” would be more fitting a saying.
Do I wish my house was cleaner? Yes. Do I wish it wasn’t a constant cycle of pick up this, put away that? Yes. Could my kids do a better job of being good stewards of their mess-making blessings? By all means.
But when I looked around, at least this one time, I didn’t think anything about it being a mess. It was just one crazy, mish-mash, strewn-about-wrecklessly, beauty of a blessing.
I refilled my coffee. I went back to sitting in silence. …And then I prayed that my kids would stay asleep just a little bit longer…
PS. Life hack: When I’m overwhelmed by the mess I just look up. My kids haven’t yet figured out a way to cover the ceiling with their little messy blessings. 😉 …oh wait, that’s not accurate – my sister reminded me that my eldest has covered her bedroom ceiling with glow-in-the-dark glue…