Every time that I get a piece of the Eucharist that was broken by the priest during consecration of the Eucharist it makes me very, very happy. I anticipate Communion all the more wondering with child-like expectation and hope “Will I get it today?” all the while smiling in my heart.
I know that it is Jesus – and so no matter what Eucharist I receive I still receive Jesus. And that makes me happy – so I am not disappointed when it doesn’t happen. So my point in sharing this is not to try to claim the Eucharist is extra-special in any way. Or to say that I’m not happy when I don’t receive it. My point is that God makes me feel extra-special the times when this does happen.
And that is not to say that God favors me over others. But what I think it reveals is that God knows that this is something that I desire and because God desires to show me His love He sometimes lets me have this small thing that I desire.
Maybe I am the only one who is eagerly anticipating this possibility? Maybe I am the only one who ever has even cared or had the thought to care about this? I don’t know. But what I do know is that this is a special way God has found to draw me deeper into my love for Him. He gives me such love and I want to give Him such love in return!
For 1.5 years I have kept a mass journal – and sometime during the past year I became conscious of this desire to receive that “special” Eucharist. It made me stare all the more intensely at the Eucharist as the priest held it up. It made me long more to receive Jesus. It made me truly focus my heart, mind, and spirit on receiving Jesus. And the times when this has happened I have noted it in the margin of that day’s mass reflection. When I flip thru my prayer journal over and over again I see the note that “I received a piece of the Eucharist broken by the priest!” It makes my heart smile.
Today I received a piece of the Eucharist broken by the priest! What an extra-special Ash Wednesday! God has seen my heart longing to get out of this “meh” place, a place sort of fearful of how life changing Lent can be when you let it be – and to a place eagerly anticipating all the challenges, sacrifices, hardships, and joy [and all those joyful things disgused as hardship] that this Lent is going to bring as I continue to seek God and grow closer to Him!