I had wanted to write a post about how great it felt to return winter boots I bought that I didn’t actually need (something about having 2 feet but 3 pairs of winter boots…) but then I watched the movie “Silence” about the Jesuits in Japan in the 1600s.
It made me really appreciate mass on Sunday – I could be in community and share in my love for God openly and no one was going to kill me for doing so. And it also made this “victory” feel so meaningless. I should get my act together for God where a pitance of a battle doesn’t make me feel victorious — there are real battles, there are major struggles people face to follow God, and I am so very blessed that I don’t have those kinds of battles — that my battles are things like whether or not I should keep a pair of cute boots.
My struggles are between being of the world and being for God. My fight is to keep God in His rightful place at the center of my life. So the other day it manifested in a pair of boots – and while I agree with what I just wrote about the ridiculousness of it being a “victory” it actually was a victory. The devil tries to keep us of the world and away from God – I cannot let something as meaningless as a pair of boots get in the way of me+God!
…Also, I had decided to return the boots. I had had the receipt in my wallet but then it wasn’t there. I thought “No! You can’t do this to me! I decided against the boots!” I searched high and low to no avail and prayed to St. Anthony. When I checked the car for a second time, there in the center console area, was the much crumpled receipt. I thanked St. Anthony and promptly returned the boots (and then walked back out of the store without having bought anything else- also, sadly, this is a victory for me)!
The “don’t let me look at them or I will want them again” boots and crumpled receipt: