To start Advent off on the right foot I went to confession. To be vague-but-specific-enough – I confessed to wasting time.
I was given a penance that I am stoked about. Yes, perhaps you’d think it impossible to be excited over a penance. But I truly am. Hearing the penance gave me great joy!
The priest reminded me of what Jesus says about time in Matthew 24 “stay awake… [and] be prepared, for an hour you so not expect the Son of Man will come.” The priest said that for my penance I should pray over the value of a moment — contemplate and pray over “the value of a moment” for the whole of Advent. How beautiful!
When I got home I was smiling and Ryan asked how confession was. I told him my penance and how excited I was for it. To which he half-jokingly responded: “Whatever happened to one Our Father and one Hail Mary?”
And so it begins. I shall contemplate the value of time – the value of a moment.
- Driving home from confession this thought: “You fool! This very night your life will be demanded of you.” – Which is Luke 12:16 about the rich man who worries about storing up his treasure on earth. My take away: Be rich in the things of God. Do not focus on material things.
- As I reflected thru out the day: How many moments do I waste on pointless things? The greatest gift I have is life. Life is a TBD number of moments. If life is so precious (which it is) then I should waste as few of my moments as possible. >> If I am more conscious of how I am spending my moments then I will live my moments better and therefore live a better life – and live it not just for myself or my family, but most importantly live it for God.
- As I lay in bed unable to sleep: The experience of a moment may not always be great. But the value of a moment is always great.
- Signed up for videos.church’s #AdventMadeSimple. You should do it too! Here: adventmadesimple.com
- If you don’t value the moment then you may miss the most meaningful ones. Nora woke up crying from a bad dream before I left for work. We snuggled for 5 minutes. Before I left she said “I love you as much as someone can love something.” When we get these moments of snuggles it is a double-edged sword – one side is the most love one can feel, the other is sadness that these moments will likely be the best ones of my day but they only last 5 minutes –the best part of my day comes in its first few minutes; the many remaining subsequent minutes of the day all pale in comparison. I am grateful though for those minutes!
Days 4 -6:
- There are many moments out of your control. So you better make the best use out of the ones that are in your control.
- I looked out my kitchen window and cars were lining up at the funeral home getting ready for a funeral. “Life is but a single breath. We flower and we fade.”
- If it were my last day alive how would I live? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be doing the dishes. But the dishes need to be done. So I must plan as though I’ll live tomorrow, but live as though I’ll die today. …and you think those kinds of thoughts would compel-motivate me to live my moments better, but I think I’m mostly spending them as I always spend them -not thinking of their value or limited quantity or how to live them better.
- Yesterday Nora exhausted my patience by 9:30am and by 10am I think I completely lost it. She is precious and time with her is precious, but I really struggle remembering that. Then at night I had a dream – She wanted some candy treat, I gave her a ‘no’ look, and she didn’t take the treat. Then we got on an elevator with my sister Bridgette and the elevator malfunctioned. [BTW I have a fear of elevators so this was a pure nightmare.] As I tried to strategize our hopeful survival of its ups and downs [PS. It’s the ‘ups’ that will get you.] I had the “Well this is it.” moment. Life is too short. I’m sad to die. I’m sad for Nora. I’m sad for Bridgette. I’m sad that I didn’t let Nora have that treat – why didn’t I just say ‘yes’? ….So essentially a death of fear and regrets. :: If I lived my moments right up to that point would I have had so many thoughts of fear and regret?
- The best moments of sleep I get are in between when my first alarm goes off and when the snooze alarm goes off. Why is that? They should be no different than the previous 8 hours, but I value those 9 snooze-sleep minutes so highly and enjoy them so deeply.
[Photo Phootnote: One day Nora got my phone, called my Dad, and read him books over the phone — for about 1 hour. My Dad is a great example of how to live your moments. He values all the time he has with her. It amazes me. Every time they are together their moments are full of non-stop love and wonder and make believe — they live in their moments so perfectly!]