Recently I was in prayer and had a beautiful thought. It was the sort of thing you want to write down because it feels like pure Truth. I knelt in prayer and half-asked God for permission to stop praying and sit back and write it down. But before I finished my ask I was given the answer: No – because the thought was for the moment and only the moment.
Instead of being annoyed that such a good thought would “go to waste” in my head I tried instead to focus on the moment and be absorbed by it. Not being allowed to remember a well-phrased, deep-meaning thought is so frustrating! But the thought was between God and me and the moment for the moment. It is hard to accept such beauty.
I love writing things down. I always want to have that “grand thought” that other people would be impressed by. But my thoughts are not His thoughts, my ways are not His ways — and I have to accept that in a moment where God speaks to me (via a thought I credit myself for) I should just focus on the grace of the moment and be absorbed by it. Why seek out anything other than His presence? If I stop praying and go to write it down I get out of the moment He has graced me with – how selfish I am!
For the life of me I cannot remember the beautiful thought. And it makes sense. It has been made clear that the thought was for that moment. And I was so distracted by myself that I almost completely missed the moment. Luckily I forced myself into it — accepted His will for that moment rather than my own. In hindsight it is so foolish to have been like “God, can we pause a moment? I wanna write this down on paper rather than writing it in my heart.”
I do not have the words on paper, but I trust that they have been deeply written onto my heart. I have to accept that my brain no longer holds the thought and that instead my heart does. My heart will remind my brain of the important things.
I am regretful that the words are only in my heart and can’t also be inscribed onto yours without you “doing the work” of sitting with God in prayer. But maybe this will inspire you to take a moment, even the smallest of ones, and just sit with the Lord — and let His thoughts be your thoughts, His ways your ways — and rest content inside his grace, love, mercy, and trust that He holds you and knows what is best for you in that moment.
Give God Your Yes 