Sit in silent prayer for 10 minutes, asking God how he wants to change your heart this month.
1. Shortly into praying I was thinking “change my life” instead of “change my heart”. If I change my heart then I change my life, so not that far off. But I think it curious I quickly was mixed-up.
2. Is it bad I was like “I only have to change my heart for one month. I can do that!” …It made it seem doable — to identify something I need to work on and set a specific length of time to improve on it. Sure, the hope is a lifelong improvement. But if all I get is a month then I’ll take it!
3. Making a lifelong change seems daunting, but improve in this area for just one month? That was freeing to think of something I may have been overlooking that was “small picture” because I often just focus on “big picture/end game” things. …And that’s not to say I do even that well, but it turns out this reflection time showed me that I’ve been overlooking some very important things I can vastly improve on in the short-term.
3. Within a few minutes I realized my biggest area of my heart that needs changed — How I handle my interactions with my daughter. I know I quickly jump to correcting her or telling her to clean something up. It has started to make things more contentious than they need to be. I have realized this, but I haven’t done much practically to actually improve how I handle these times. I pray for more patience, to be kinder, to handle situations better. But I haven’t actually really tried to put it into practice.
4. This month I will be intentionally more patient with Nora. I will be less nagging. I will be more fun. I will spend more time with her doing the things she wants to do. …Because for the last 6 months I have been so Ruthie-focused that I kind of haven’t been all that great of a mom to Nora. I know that the majority of the time I am correcting her rather than just being with her and enjoying the amazing girl that she is. :: And if I do a better job at being positive and loving that will not only help her, but also me. I don’t want to nag all the time. I want to just be joyful. So this month I will work on being more present to her needs and wants and less about my own.