As I was getting ready for a morning trail run, a group of 4 young women (I assume they were college freshmen or sophomores) started their nature walk. They were quite joyous while not being annoying – so happy and joyful that I actually noticed the joy and then appreciated that some people are wired to be readily joyful. I myself can feel content or joy but I don’t outwardly overflow my joy. In fact, I was a touch envious of the ease at which they were finding joy because I feel like it takes a lot for me to feel joy.
As they headed to the trailhead the yellow oak leaves were glittering down from the sky, the sun was warming up the morning, and the ground was dry underfoot.
Then one challenged her friends: “The first of us to catch a leaf wins!”
I smiled. I like catching leaves. “Other people do this, too?” I was curious. I like doing this and especially love doing this with my kids. And when I am on runs I like to try to catch leaves that come down past me. But to hear such young non-kid people get excited about possibly catching a leaf made me happy.
I started my run. I caught a leaf. Another came by and I caught it. I caught a 3rd. I looked at my watch and only 2.5 minutes had gone by. I wondered, “Did I just win? Did any of those girls catch a leaf yet? This is amazing! I’ve already caught 3!”
(On Monday (10/5) on my 10 mile run I caught 2 and was quite happy about it – they were my first caught leaves while on a run in October.)
I kept running and fully expected to be delighted with leaf catching for my entire 5K. But then a funny thing happened. I ran for a noticeable number of minutes without any leaves falling. So I went from practically picking them out of the sky to having nothing to grasp at. I was saddened. “Come on breeze. Can’t you knock some down in front of me?” I mentally demanded. But no leaves fell.
As I plodded along (yes it was a plod – in fact it was an ugly slow plod that, despite my best efforts, refused to change into a non-ploddy run) a few leaves fell nearby but not close enough to grab. One came close but annoyingly got just out of reach as I leaned down to grab it.
I ran along thinking about leaves and thinking about catching them and naturally my mind related this to God.
I held 3 leaves in my hands (yes, because after I catch them I run with them) and ran along thinking about leaves as gifts of God’s grace.
If God were the tree and if the leaves were God’s grace then…
Then these leaves that shower down from heaven are God’s offering of grace. We can either receive it or choose not receive it. We can catch ahold of it or let it pass by. We can long for it – and either catch it or not.
If the 3 leaves in my hands were all the grace God was to give me, would I be content? How long could that grace sustain me? The entire run? Did I accept this grace and let it do what it was to do in me/for me – or did I just cling to it without appreciating it? If I always expect to receive more grace — would I act differently? Would I approach my 3 grace-leaves and treat them as precious as they are? Or would I just sort of acknowledge that they were there but get so distracted by looking for more grace-leaves that I forget about the grace-leaves I’ve already received?
Now I know this is a poor analogy-metaphor-thing because God’s grace is always enough. God constantly offers us grace. If we look to God He will provide us with what is needed when it is needed. God does not disappoint. …But let me continue my mental exploration anyways because it is a grace to be able to ponder such things – and if our minds are on God we are in the right place, even if we are only capable of making flawed associations…
As I ran along I trampled upon many leaves that had been showered down from the trees but had not found any one there to catch them. God pours out His grace so fully, but are we there to accept it? How much does God want to give us yet we don’t stand at the ready to receive? What would our world be like if all of the grace-leaves were caught as they were meant to be caught? How much love, peace, joy would be in the world?
My 3 grace-leaves carried my feet and my heart for a 5K as I held them tight in my hand. Perhaps it is a silly thing to think of God’s grace in this way – but on this run it kept my feet light even though they were physically plodding along. I was spiritually filled despite being physically challenged.
I spent 30 minutes with the Lord in nature thinking of Him and His beauty and His love and His grace. And even now, many hours later, I carry the effect of these contemplations within me. You could perhaps even say that while I had hoped for more than 3 grace-leaves and expected to receive more grace-leaves I was given plenty – I was given even more than what was sufficient for me to appreciate God and His infinite love for me, for the world, for His creation.
And so as one who doesn’t easily come to joy, I (by God’s grace) was at least able to realize that my morning run was something beautiful, something special, something meaningful, something unexpected, something you might even call joy-filled.
God gifted me awareness of 4 joyous friends on a morning nature walk and in doing so He raised my mind and heart and even my hands towards Him. He held me there. And I ran, filled with His grace, and ever-ready for more offers of His grace disguised in a falling leaf.
Post-run view of my handful of “grace-leaves”:
